Transformation
by ttfan111robstar1
Summary: Emily reveals her feelings to the man she loves. "... Somewhere along the way everything changed and I realized that I loved you. I spent years wishing that I had gotten to say that as myself, and then one day I realized that I did. Lauren Reynolds is me. The real me. Emily Prentiss may be my name, but Lauren Reynolds is my true identity. And I just want to be Lauren again."
1. Transformation

Emily Prentiss could feel the freezing cold air nipping at her fingertips. She could see her breath as she walked on the sidewalk. The cold did not deter her from her destination. It only served as a reminder that she had to remain that way towards other people for this to work. she kept her gaze straight forward, afraid to move her head at all, because she knew if she did that she might look back. She knew that if she looked back her iron will might start to rust and her resolve might crumble. Her hand gripped the gold necklace as tightly as possible. It was a talisman that would keep her safe as she gave in to the deepest and darkest desire of her soul.

She wanted him. All of him. Now and forever. And she had to tell him that before it was too late.

Somewhere along the line, her emotions had crossed the line between fake and real. At first she was only showing him affection because it was her job, but the sincerity of his own emotions had gotten to her, and the emotions stopped being fake. She had buried herself in her work after that, trying to fill the void that he left in her soul, but the gnawing emptiness only grew larger with the passage of time. When she heard that Ian had escaped, her heart had nearly stopped inside of her chest. He was coming for her. She had betrayed him, but her heart wasn't in it, and she hoped that he could see that much. Now, as she walked toward The Black Shamrock, she hoped that he could forgive her for what she had done.

She sat in that very same booth where their lives had first crossed, and ordered the same drink she had on that fateful night. She could picture Ian's piercing blue eyes staring at her, filled with love. It was her deepest hope that he could look past her indiscretions and love her all over again. She would open herself up to the worst possible heartbreak imaginable, but what was love without risk?

Her breath froze in her throat as she saw him come through the door. He smiled at her, ordered his drink, then came to her table. He sat down, and took a sip of whiskey.

"salut mon chéri. Il a été un temps assez long puisque nous étions dernière ici." (hello darling. It has been a long time since we were last here.)

"Oui, il l'a fait." (yes it has.)

"What do you want from me, Emily?" He asked. To her, he seemed exhausted just saying her name. It broke her heart a little. She wasn't sure how to begin.

"When I took that job, I wasn't expecting anything to really happen between us. I told myself that it was just work and that I could separate my feelings from my job. But somewhere along the way everything changed and I realized that I loved you. I spent years wishing that I had gotten to say that as myself, and then one day I realized that I did. Lauren Reynolds is me. The real me. Emily Prentiss may be my name, but Lauren Reynolds is my true identity. And I just want to be Lauren again." A tear streaked down her face and he moved to wipe it.

"You would give it all up for me?"

"I want you back. I'll do whatever it takes to have you."

He spied the necklace around her neck and touched it lightly.

"Will you marry me?" He asked, quietly.

"What did you say?" She asked in shock.

"Will you marry me?"

In a flash she recalled everything that had ever happened between them. The kisses, the rings, the sex, the betrayal. But most importantly there was the emptiness while he was away. She knew she couldn't live that way again. So she would leave Emily Prentiss behind and become Lauren Reynolds for the rest of her life.

"Yes. Yes, I'll marry you." She said, voice choked with tears. They both stood up and shared a passionate kiss. He pulled her in close to him and whispered in her ear:

"Come on. Let's get married." He took her by the hand and they drove together to the courthouse. Emily had brought all of her credentials as Lauren Reynolds in her jacket. The woman named Emily Prentiss was gone as of this moment. Now she was just Lauren- almost Lauren Doyle. When they got there they said their vows and Lauren removed the rings from her necklace. One went on her finger, the other on Ian's. After reciting their vows the judge pronounced them Husband and Wife, and Ian happily kissed his bride.

"I love you, Lauren."

"I love you too, Ian."

That night, Lauren sent one last text to her old coworkers from the BAU. When she sent it, she threw it in the trash as she and her husband boarded a plane headed for Rio De Janeiro. It was one identical message sent to all of them- short, but simple.

 _I chose love._

With that text, all her old ties had been severed. Now she could focus on her relationship with her husband and his son. She loved her friends back home dearly and wanted them in her life, but she knew that couldn't happen because of who her husband was. As sad as it was to say goodbye to them, she knew it would be for the best. As long as she covered her tracks, she and Ian would be fine. He kissed her hand as they sat in their seats on the plane.

"What are you thinking about, love?" She smiled.

"How lucky I am to have you."

"I love you, Mrs. Doyle."

"I love you too, Mr. Doyle."

They shared a kiss before their plane took off. Lauren moved to lean on her husband's arm. As she drifted off into peaceful sleep, she couldn't help but smile at the idea that together they had finally found paradise.


	2. Honeymoon

**Author's Note: This story decided to keep writing itself! I hope you enjoy this chapter! Thank you for reviewing!**

They spent three beautiful weeks enjoying the warm sun and sandy beaches of Rio. They stayed in the penthouse of the nicest hotel there, where they were treated like royalty. Together they went snorkeling, ate out at fine restaurants, and went out dancing. Most often, however, they made love. Together at last, they couldn't keep their hands off of one another. After eight years of being apart, they were glued to each other's sides. When their honeymoon was finally over, Ian took his wife to a private villa in rural Tuscany.

Lauren had left all of her clothes and possessions behind in Washington DC. It shouldn't have surprised her that her husband had arranged for her closet to be fully stocked before they arrived home, but it still managed to shock her. She turned to him and put her arms around his neck.

"How did you know?" She asked, smiling.

"You think I don't remember what you like?"

Her smile faltered slightly, and she looked away from his gaze, embarrassed. He gently cupped her face in his hands and moved her face to look at him.

"Don't do that."

"Do what?"

"Blame yourself. You made a mistake. It happens."

"That mistake almost cost me you!"

"But it didn't, did it?"

She huffed slightly. "No..."

"So why are you still feeling guilty about it?"

"I'm good at feeling guilty. I've had a lot of practice."

"Well stop. This is supposed to be a joyful time for us. Do you really want a little guilt to sour our honeymoon phase?"

She sighed. "Alright. I'm done."

"Thank you."

She smiled and kissed him. "You're welcome."

He looked at her mischievously. "How about we christen this new bed with a little afternoon delight?"

She laughed. "Did you seriously just say that with a straight face?"

He pulled her into his arms and dipped her close to the ground. "Surprised, love?"

When she recovered from feeling disoriented, She grinned. "No. Just amused." He kissed her, and she giggled- a high pitched sound that didn't seem to belong to her at all. The carefree sound only served to excite him further, and soon they were making love in their home for the first time.

Ian appreciated every contour of his wife's body. Every movement inside of her made every nerve ending in his body go live with electricity. He loved to watch her face as she got closer and closer to the earth-shattering climax that he knew would rock her body. When they both orgasmed together, it reinforced the deep bond between them- both physical and mental. As Lauren lay her head on her husband's chest, she couldn't help but smile. They were starting their lives together. For once in her life she had chosen to love and trust someone else completely. Every other time it had blown up in her face, but this time it was different. She could feel it. This was a man who truly loved her despite her deceit and betrayal. He was willing to look past all of it and learn to love her all over again, and to her that was absolutely beautiful.

"What are you thinking, love?" He asked, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear.

"About how beautiful you are."

"I think you mean handsome, don't you?"

"For the outside yes, but I was talking about the inside."

"Ah. And what do you find so beautiful about my insides if I may ask?"

She looked up at him, smiling. "Your willingness to forgive me. Your love and passion. The joy you have when you're with me or Declan. There are a lot of little things about you that I love."

"I could say the same for you."

"Oh really?"

"Oh yes. I love your mind. You're so smart and clever. And of course you're the most beautiful woman I've ever laid eyes on. You're mysterious and sexy, loving yet tough. And even though you have issues trusting people, you gave me the most precious gift of all: yourself. To have and to hold. To love and to cherish. Till death do us part." He kissed her forehead and she blushed. Seeing the pink hue in her cheeks was heartening, and it made him smile wider. He gently stroked her cheek.

"I love that blush of yours too."

"Really?"

"Oh yes. It's absolutely breathtaking you know. Like an ocean sunset."

She lifted her head to look at him. "Did you really just compare me to sunset?"

"Yes. Why? Not romantic enough for you?"

"Exactly the opposite. Do you want some nachos to go with that cheese?" She said with a laugh.

"I thought you liked it when I was cheesy."

"Oh, I do, don't get me wrong, but I have my limits."

"Do you, now?"

"Mmhmm."

"You know I love testing limits." She shot him a halfhearted dirty look.

"If you try and pile on more cheesy romance on top of that I'm leaving the room."

"I didn't know you were so opposed to cheese."

"Well now you know." She said, kissing his nose.

"You learn something new everyday." He murmured.

"Yes you do. Now let's get dressed and get something to eat." She said, rolling onto her side. He sat up and bowed to her.

"Your wish is my command." She laughed and pulled a blue pinstriped shirt and tan pants to match from her closet and quickly got dressed. After he finished dressing, they held hands as they walked downstairs to grab a late dinner. After a hearty meal of Alfredo pasta with chicken and broccoli, and a cannoli for dessert, they went back upstairs to the master bedroom, exhausted from the jet lag and switching time zones. Lauren curled up next to her husband under the covers and kissed his cheek, closing her eyes quickly as sleep befuddled her mind. The last thing she heard besides Ian's steady breathing was a whispered "I love you" in her ear as his lips brushed over her cheek.


	3. Unusual

In those next few weeks, Lauren and Ian developed a routine. Ian would always wake up first, at five fifteen exactly every morning. He would drag himself out of bed and get into the bathroom. He would use the restroom, shower for ten minutes, then shave. He would get dressed, put on cologne, then go to kiss his wife. Every morning she would wake up to the feel of his lips, the sound of his voice, and the scent of his favorite cologne. They would always go downstairs and have breakfast together on the back patio. After that Ian would head off to work by six, and Lauren would see Declan (who had returned home shortly after his father and new stepmother) off to school. After that, Lauren had the day to spend as she pleased. She often spent her time reading, gardening, and solving crossword puzzles. Her husband would arrive home by six thirty at the latest. Occasionally he went out for work later on but never without telling her. The three of them would eat dinner together, then spend time together in the living room. When it was his bedtime they both tucked Declan in. After that there was a few hours of free time before they would retire to their bedroom for the night. They would always get to bed at eleven to do it all over again the next day. All of it was in complete contrast to what Lauren had always known.

As Emily Prentiss she never had time to herself and was always on edge as she waited for the next case to crop up. The stress of the job kept her anxious all the time. She constantly feared for the safety of her team. But here as Lauren much of that stress was gone. Of course she persistently obsessed over her husband's safety. In his line of work it was natural to be worried. Even though she knew he could handle himself her terror remained.

Now, she sat on the balcony of the master bedroom, staring at her reflection in the glass of the French doors. For the first time in her life she could say that she liked the woman she had become. There was no more keeping secrets from everyone. She knew her team might try and track her down, but as long as she used aliases, disposable cell phones, and left no paper trail she would remain undetectable.

She looked back at the stack of forms on the table. The adoption papers had just arrived this morning. Filling them out- despite the tediousness of the task- was actually quite exhilarating. It wasn't the first time in her life that she had been faced with the idea of motherhood, but it was the first time she was honestly contemplating it. She knew that she loved Declan deeply, and that he loved her too. It seemed only natural that she take that final legal step to make him officially hers. She signed the papers with a flourish before going back inside.

She set the papers down on the living room coffee table and could hear Louise moving around the kitchen. It wasn't long until the smell of chicken Parmesan caught her nose. Instead of smelling appetizing, however, it made her stomach roil, and she ran to the bathroom to get sick. As she lay there bent over the toilet, she kept trying to catch her breath, but it was a fruitless endeavor. Her stomach kept trying to empty itself further, but there was nothing left inside of it. She curled up onto her side on the floor trying to calm down. She could feel her breasts tingling through her thin top as it made contact with the cool tile. It made her flinch. Only when she was certain that she wouldn't be sick again did she get up from the floor. She dragged herself into the bed and laid there for a few minutes, trying to regain her strength. She looked around the room, not really looking for anything specific, just trying to find something to look at. There were a few paintings on the walls of grassy plains and rolling hills. Ian had wanted them to match the outside of their home. Her eyes landed on the calendar they kept near the door. Her eyes landed on today's date. it was the twenty-seventh.

Suddenly, a realization hit her that would have knocked her over if she'd been standing.

Her eyes flashed up to the date fifteen days earlier. The twelfth was circled in red- meant to denote her time of the month. She'd been so busy with Ian and settling into her new life that she'd paid the calendar no mind. And now her period was late. Over two weeks late.

Oh shit.

She leapt out of bed, no longer worried over her nauseousness. A new, much greater fear had taken hold of her body. She barely managed to tell Louise that she was going to the store before bolting to the car. The drive there was long and irritating to her. When she got to the store, she calmly walked in, got the item she needed, paid, and went out the door. Somehow the drive home was even worse. When she got there she zipped up the stairs and went back to the master bathroom. She opened the box and stared at the small stick for a moment. She couldn't believe that she was holding a pregnancy test in her hand.

She took the test and looked at it, waiting for it to season. The shock and surprise of it all was overwhelming. She put a hand over her mouth, nervous and fidgety. She hated not knowing more than anything else. The moments before the answer was revealed to her were the most intense torture she had ever experienced. She closed her eyes, took in a deep breath, and then opened them again.

A little pink plus sign was staring back at her.


	4. Secrets Revealed

For a moment she could only stare at the test, mouth agape. The shock was thorough and paralyzing. She couldn't move. She couldn't breathe. It had quite literally taken her breath away.

She didn't know how long she stayed that way, frozen to the spot. She jumped when a knock came at her door. She hid the test in a nightstand drawer before calmly saying, "come in."

It was Louise. She stuck her head in through the door.

"Mrs. Doyle, are you alright?" She asked, concern in her eyes. Lauren smiled.

"I'm fine, Louise. Thank you."

"Are you sure?" She pressed.

"I'm sure, I promise. I'm Just tired." She said, smiling. It was even true.

Still unconvinced but not wanting to push further, Louise pursed her lips but left the room. Lauren was grateful when she shut the door, and sighed deeply. She glanced at the nightstand, and unconsciously rested a hand on her stomach. A tiny life was growing inside of her. A mix of Ian and herself. The thought made her smile. It drove her to think a little more logically.

She had already begun the process of adopting Declan. Motherhood had been on her radar now for a while- this was just a new way of experiencing it. Looking at it that way made her feel more confident. A part of her couldn't help but think about the last time she was pregnant in Italy. She had been a vulnerable fifteen year old girl back then. Now she was married to the man she loved deeply. As much as she wondered about who that other baby might have become, she knew that she could give this baby a better life now than back then. This baby would be taken care of financially, would have a bright future ahead of it, and most importantly to her would have both parents in it's life. And she would give it all the stability, comfort, and support it needed. It changed her entire outlook on the situation. She took the test out of the drawer and held it in her hand, knowing that this was the beginning of the rest of her life.

Time seemed to purposely slow to a crawl to thwart her. She couldn't help the anxiety that filtered down to every nerve ending in her body. She kept herself sequestered in her bedroom, afraid that if she did someone would find out somehow. Louise came to check in on her a few times. Lauren asked that she take Declan out somewhere for the evening so that she and her husband would have the house to themselves. Although the nanny was highly suspicious of her behavior, she didn't question her.

At four o'clock she started setting the dining room table with a white tablecloth, linen napkins, roses, and candles. Once that was done she started cooking- Chicken á la king in a red wine reduction sauce, asparagus, smashed potatoes, and crème brûlée for dessert. While it was cooking she changed her clothes. A sexy red dress that showed off her breasts and hugged her curves, and silver stilettos to match. She fixed her hair and makeup and finished right when the crème brûlée needed to come out of the oven. She set the food out on the table before lighting the candles. After that, she waited for her husband to come home.

Ian got home from work fifteen minutes later, and was pleasantly surprised to see a candlelit dinner waiting for him along with his wife dressed to kill. He grinned at her and put an arm around her waist as he pulled her in for a kiss.

"You look ravishing, love." She grinned.

"Thank you. Now come sit so I can fix you a plate."

His smile widened. "Alright." He sat down as she prepared his plate. After fixing her own, she sat across from him and started eating.

"Where's Declan?"

"He and Louise are out for the evening, so we have the whole house to ourselves." She said, a mischievous glint in her eye.

He raised his glass to her and drank, not noticing that her wine glass was only filled with water.

"How was your day?" She asked.

"Long and exhausting."

"Doesn't that make it like every other day?"

"It was that way even more so today than usual."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. You already made it better by doing this."

"I'm glad I could help."

There was a beat of quiet. "Speaking of doing this, what exactly is this for?"

"Can't a wife make dinner for her husband without getting the third degree?"

He raised an eyebrow. "I don't know, can you?" She blushed, and it gave her away. Ian reached across the table to take her hand. "What aren't you telling me, darling?"

She smiled. "Am I that obvious?"

"Not to most, but you are to me."

She smiled and looked away from his gaze. "I don't know how to say this..."

"Take your time." His encouragement made her slightly less nervous.

"I'm pregnant."

The surprised look on his face was so strange that it almost made her laugh. But the look of pure joy that flashed through his eyes when he realized what she had just said broke through to him. He stood up, went over to where his wife sat, helped her up, and then spun her around in a circle. She laughed, and it was a carefree, thrilling sound. He pressed her close to him and kissed her deeply and passionately.

"I didn't need another reason to love you even more, Mrs. Doyle. And yet now I have one."

She smiled. "So you're ready to have this baby?"

"With you by my side I can do anything. It will be the first of many great adventures in our life together."

Lauren wrapped her arms around his neck in an emotional embrace. To hear him talk about their life together with a baby of their own was enough to move her to tears. She felt a tear run down her face as she whispered into her husband's ear.

"I love you Ian."

"I love you too."


	5. Joy

After telling her husband about her pregnancy, Lauren felt a thousand pounds lighter. To see his excitement over their future child warmed her heart. She happily informed Louise who was overjoyed for her, but she wanted to wait and tell Declan. She hatched a plan to tell him right around the time her adoption of him became legal- with Ian at her side, of course. It was about a month after she had told her husband that the good news had come to her- the adoption papers had gone through, and she was legally Declan's mother. She decided to go out and celebrate, so the three of them went to a high end restaurant and were taken to a private room to dine in.

She looked at Declan, who was all of twelve, and couldn't help but smile. He was a brilliant and inquisitive boy who filled the entire villa with joy. And now he was legally hers to love and protect. It made her heart beat a little faster, and she reached over to squeeze Ian's hand.

"Declan," she began quietly, "I have something to tell you."

He looked up at her, curious about what she would say. She had his full attention.

"When I married your father, I wanted to you to feel like you could come to me with anything. I wanted you to know that I would always be there for you, no matter what. I wanted you to know how much I love and care about you. So a while ago I filled out some papers and today they came back approved. Do you know what those papers were?" Declan shook his head no. "Those papers were adoption papers. I loved you so much that I wanted to make you a part of my family legally. And now I finally have."

The smile that lit up his face was dazzling. He looked to his father.

"Does that mean Lauren's my mom now?"

Ian grinned and squeezed his wife's hand. "Yes it does."

He went over to her and gave her a big hug.

"I never had a Mom before. But I'm really glad that you're my Mom now."

The words were so beautiful they almost made her cry. "That means a lot to me."

"I love you... Mom." She couldn't stop a few tears from leaking down her cheeks.

"I love you too, Declan." She said, kissing the crown of his head. "And I have one other thing to tell you."

He looked at her. "What is it?" She looked at Ian for support. He nodded encouragingly. She looked at her son, smiling.

"You're going to be a big brother. We're having a baby."

His eyes flew open wide in surprise. Clearly it wasn't something that he was expecting, so she gave it a minute. When he didn't say anything after a while, she gently put a hand on his arm.

"Are you okay?" She asked. He shook his head and blinked.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just really surprised." She nodded.

"It is a lot to take in." He nodded. She gave his arm a reassuring squeeze. "You'll be great."

Finally, he smiled.

When they got back home later that evening, they spent the rest of the night as a family, watching movies and eating popcorn. When Declan started falling asleep on the couch, Ian and Lauren helped him to his room and tucked him into bed. They both kissed his head, and he smiled sleepily.

"Goodnight, Declan."

"Goodnight Mommy."

The word gave her butterflies in her stomach and put a big, stupid grin on her face. As she shut the door, she twirled herself into her husband's arms. He smiled, and she leaned up and kissed him.

"This has been one of the best days of my life."

"Mine too. To see Declan so happy brings me such joy."

"And now there are no more secrets in our house."

"Well... Mostly."

"No more unnecessary secrets." She amended.

"There you go."

Lauren moved out of her Husband's arms to hold his hand as they walked to their bedroom. She could hear water running and moved into the bathroom where her husband was getting into the bathtub, clearly waiting for her. With a grin, she got in and started kissing him. The joy of the day was reinforced by a passionate session of love making. Afterward, the two of them relaxed in the warm water.

"Have you thought about names yet?"

"It's a little bit early to be thinking about that, don't you think?"

"I thought most women already had those picked out."

"Do I look like most women to you?"

"Point taken."

She sat there quietly for a few minutes. "Do you have any ideas?"

Ian chuckled. "I had several ideas when Declan was born. I still like a few names."

"Such as?"

"Siobhan. Braden. Erin. Kathleen. Reagan."

"More girl names than boys. I'd be lying to say I wasn't surprised."

"I used them for Declan."

"And all of them are Irish, too."

"You know I'm proud of my heritage."

"And I respect that. But I don't want to just focus on one aspect. We should keep our options open when it comes to names."

"I know. I haven't ruled anything out. But I'm curious- what do you think?"

"I tend to gravitate more toward Italian names since we live here."

"Any ones in particular that you enjoy?"

She thought about it for a minute. "I like Anthony. I always thought it was beautiful. And Gianna. There's just something I like about them that I can't explain."

"I like them too." He paused for a moment. "Anthony Braden Doyle."

She looked up and smiled at him. "That sounds perfect. But what if it's a girl?"

"Gianna Kathleen."

She paused. "I really thought that figuring that out would take a lot longer."

"Great minds think alike, love."

"That they do."

Satisfied with their choices, they got out of the tub, put on their pajamas. and went to bed for the night.


	6. First Glimpse

Those next few weeks were very special for the Doyle family. Since being officially adopted, Lauren's relationship with Declan had deepened so quickly that she was shocked by the evolution. The two of them were closer now than ever before. Ian now tried to spend even more time at home to help his son and support his wife during her pregnancy.

The first few months of her pregnancy were the worst for her. Lauren stayed mostly in her bedroom so that she would be close to a toilet. She felt an almost constant need to pee, and morning sickness had ripped through her life like a tornado and had taken all the fight out of her. Fatigue had also set in and had sapped her of most of her energy. Usually after getting sick she would lay down in her bed to take a nap. She always felt better after that but had to be hyper vigilant about what was being cooked at mealtimes. Even the slightest scent or taste of something could set her stomach off and send her running for the bathroom.

The only other symptom of early pregnancy that was really giving her trouble was dizziness and fainting. Most of the time it occurred after a bout of morning sickness, and that made it easier for her. She knew if she stayed close to the ground and didn't move too much at one time that she'd be alright. The other times, however, were out of nowhere. She had been lucky the first time it happened- Ian had been right behind her and had caught her as she fainted before she could get hurt.

Today marked the twelfth week of her pregnancy, and she was going to her first Ultrasound. She could feel the excitement growing inside of her as she signed in at the front desk. Although she had brought a book with her in her purse, she couldn't get into it. When the nurse finally called her name, she jumped out of her chair in excitement. She couldn't wipe the smile off of her face as she laid down on the examining table, despite the fact that her bladder was full (which was necessary for the procedure) and in sore need of release. After telling her that the technician would be right in, the nurse disappeared into the hallway, leaving Lauren alone with her thoughts.

A dozen emotions passed by her at once as she tried to fully grasp what was happening. She would see her baby for the first time today. It would be one of the most life changing days of her life. Her hand went to her stomach as she thought about the little person growing inside her. It only heightened her excitement. When the doctor finally came in, it was a relief.

She waited with baited breath as the technician had her lift her shirt and put the cold blue gel on her stomach. The transducer moved around, spreading it over her as she watched the screen. She drummed her fingers impatiently on the exam table, resisting the urge to bite her nails. Finally, the technician caught sight of the baby and it made her entire world shift in an instant.

She could see the whole baby in one shot. It's head was huge compared to the little bean shaped body, but she could see the nose and mouth clear as day. A tiny leg was raised up and seemingly disconnected from the body. For a moment it frightened her until she saw it move down. And when she thought it couldn't get any better, it did when she heard the steady beating of the baby's heart. It was the most beautiful sound she had ever heard. She asked for a picture of the baby and the technician happily indulged her. He then asked her what the first day of her last period was. When she told him August twelfth, he calculated her due date to be May eighteenth. After confirming that all was well with the fetus, she moved to get the cold goo off of her stomach, thanked the technician, and put the picture inside of her purse before rushing to the bathroom.

She got home at around four o'clock, and was pleased to find Declan at the kitchen table doing his homework. She gave him a kiss and ruffled his hair before pulling the picture out and tossing her purse on the couch nearby. Louise came downstairs and was pleasantly surprised to see Lauren home.

"Done already?" She asked with a grin. Lauren nodded, and then handed her the sonogram. Her heart melted at once. "How precious!" She exclaimed. "Congratulations!" Louise hugged her and Lauren squeezed back.

"I'm so excited!" She said, smiling. Declan looked up from his worksheet, and Lauren turned to him.

"Do you want to see a picture of your new brother or sister?" She asked. He nodded, and she handed him the picture. He smiled and gave it back to her.

"Cool."

"Yes it is."

After that she could hardly wait for her husband to get home. She looked at the picture of their baby for a long time, her mind pondering other things relating to their baby. What color would the nursery be? When should she start looking for furniture? Would she breastfeed or not? Most importantly, what gender would their baby be?

She nearly jumped out of her skin when the front door finally opened and Ian stepped inside. He dropped his suitcase as she ran into his waiting arms and kissed him passionately. When their lips parted, both of them were out of breath.

"Well I missed you too." He said, smiling.

She handed him the picture, almost jumping up and down. "It's our baby."

The look on his face was everything to her. He placed a hand on her stomach and kissed her tenderly.

"I love you both so much."

She smiled, eyes glistening with happy tears. "We love you too."


	7. Discovery

Lauren spent much of her time that next month starting to design a nursery for their baby. She had finally bypassed the worst of her morning sickness and was able to be slightly more active. She and Louise had made most of the big furniture choices early on. She ran it all by Ian, of course, and he gave her the green light to spend however much she liked on it. She ran every idea past him for his opinion, but he was mostly a passive participant in the act.

She hired painters to color the walls in a bright sunshine yellow color. She had to spend the day out of the house and stayed in a hotel at night because of the fumes, but from the pictures Louise sent her, it was coming along beautifully. The time spent away from the house was spent shopping for material things for the baby- monitors, burping cloths, a car seat, and everything needed to child-proof the house. She was very tempted to buy baby clothes, but she wanted to wait until they found out the gender of the baby. Two days later, the painters finished their work. To be safe, Lauren stayed in a hotel one extra day to let the room air out. When she finally got back to the villa, she unpacked her things before officially ordering the furniture she'd so carefully selected from the catalog.

When the furniture came, she and Louise spent hours on end trying to piece it together. When Ian was home he helped and had a far easier time with it. His wife assumed that it was just easier for men. It was simply in their genes. Toward the end of the month, they finally got everything assembled and started trying to decide how it would be arranged. She decided to put the crib near the window, along with the changing table. She put a toy chest across the room from there, along with a small bookshelf. Adjacent to that was a closet and hamper. A rocking chair sat in the back corner and a dresser lined the back wall. When she showed her husband the final product, they were both pleased. It looked absolutely perfect.

Around that time, she started to experience serious cravings. Sometimes she wanted brownies with chips and cheese. Others Asian rice with caramel frosting and apple pieces or sauerkraut with Oreos and pickles. No one craving was dominant over another, and they changed drastically by the day. When her husband was home to see them, he couldn't help but laugh. She would always give him a dirty look, but kept eating. He would sometimes have to leave the room when she had a craving because some of them were so bizarre and disgusting they made him feel nauseous.

She also experienced intense and violent mood swings. She would bounce from happy to sad to angry to anxious within hours. Although Ian wasn't around as much as Declan or Louise, he was the brunt of most of her emotional turmoil. Mostly because she knew he wouldn't care if she vented to him. According to her research it was more common in the first trimester, but she theorized that it hadn't because they were still in the honeymoon phase of their marriage. Now they were much more level-headed in their thinking.

The final pregnancy symptom that really gave her trouble was the headaches, back pain, and heartburn. The heartburn was somewhat controllable with an antacid. The headaches, however, were almost unbearable. Her head pounded and throbbed, and she yearned for relief, but nothing seemed to work. The back pain kept her off her feet as much as possible, although she did try to get at least a little exercise every day. When things got to be too much, she reminded herself of why she was enduring it in the first place, and the pain would lessen- if only a little.

During the last week of her fourth month, Ian took a day off to go with his wife to find out the sex of their baby. Lauren herself couldn't sleep the night before, unable to turn off her thoughts at the time. The drive to the office seemed to take hours, so when the finally pulled into the parking lot it was a relief. When they got out Lauren gripped her husband's hand tightly. He kissed her cheek in hopes of calming her down slightly. It didn't work, but he didn't mind. She was flying on cloud nine, and seeing her so happy was all he could ask for. She signed in and moved to sit next to Ian as she waited for her name to be called. The wait for this ultrasound seemed to be longer than the last. She knew it was all in her head and that it only seemed that way because her husband was with her this time and because this one would tell her the sex of their baby. When her minutes in purgatory were up, the nurse called her back and she giddily made her way to the exam room. The nurse asked her a few questions about how she'd been feeling before leaving. She squeezed Ian's hand tightly.

"What are you hoping for?" She asked. He smiled at her.

"I don't have a preference. Do you?"

"No. Healthy will do."

"Agreed."

The doctor came in. "Ciao signora Doyle."

"Ciao medico."

She lifted up her shirt where the first of her baby bump was beginning to form. She shivered slightly when the gel came in contact with her skin, but was prepared for it. She squeezed Ian's hand and kissed him as the technician moved the transducer. Suddenly, a familiar sound filled her ears and she squeezed her husband's hand again as the heartbeat filled the room. When the picture filled the screen, she looked up at him and smiled at the wonder-filled look on his face. She smiled as she watched the baby move.

"Volete sapere il sesso?" He asked. Her breathing hitched. This was the moment she'd been anticipating. She would finally know the sex of her baby.

"Sì."

"congratulazioni signora Doyle. Hai un ragazzo." It took her mind a minute to translate the words. He was congratulating her because she was having a boy. She looked up at Ian, who held the most ridiculous grin on his face.

"Grazie doctorre." She said, smiling brightly

"Prego." He said with a nod before exiting the room.

They went home and excitedly shared the good news with Louise and Declan. Both were excited for them. Declan couldn't wait to meet the little brother he could teach someday. Louise was thrilled to have a baby around the house again. But it was Ian and Lauren themselves who were the most jubilant. They were building a life together, and now there was a son they had yet to meet who was going to be a part of it. When they went to bed that night, they were both more at peace than they'd been in a long time. Everything was absolutely perfect.


	8. Dedication

Lauren spent the next few days shopping for clothes for her baby. She and Louise went out together, having bonded deeply over the past few months and had become close friends. They spent the day shopping and went out for lunch. They had already discussed a plan for who would care for the baby. Lauren of course wanted to take care of him herself, but Louise offered to night nurse him. And they agreed. With everything set, the only things left to do before her child was born were go to prenatal check ups. To her, it was smooth sailing from here on out.

The BAU had solved many cases over the past eight months, but they had never stopped trying to find their friend. Penelope had tried to track down her cell phone, but it was in a trash can in Lorton, Virginia. She didn't know what to do next. The entire team knew that she would be able to evade them. She had aliases, contacts, and if she didn't want to be found, could be a ghost forever. There was no record of Emily Prentiss left behind. But they wouldn't give up. She was a part of their family. Garcia widened her search and looked for any activity with Lauren Reynolds' name, and found a marriage license to Ian Doyle. She was surprised that he used his real name, as was the team. But they figured he wanted it to be real, since he could go anywhere else he wanted. It was the last trace she could find on them.

It was an unusually bright day in Quantico, Virginia- a possible foreshadowing of the day ahead. They had a few days off from work but had decided to converge together in hopes of finding Emily. They met at Hotch's apartment and gathered on the couch.

"Okay. What do we know so far?" Said Hotch.

"Emily drove out to Boston, Massachusetts and dumped her phone en route." Rossi started.

"She got married to Ian Doyle under the name Lauren Reynolds." JJ continued.

"Nobody has heard from her or seen them since that day." Morgan finished.

"We've been looking for Emily, but we should be looking for Lauren Reynolds. That's who she was when she knew Doyle. She's the key to unlocking this case." Hotch said, solemnly.

"So what do we know about Lauren Reynolds?" Asked Garcia.

"She was supposed to die in a car accident." Said Reid, quietly.

"We need to find out more about her."

"How? Everyone on that team is dead except for Emily." Morgan stated grimly.

"There has to be something there that we're missing, some connection we aren't seeing." Said Rossi.

"Like what?" Asked JJ.

"Garcia?"

"Sir?"

"Can you look at everyone connected to Ian Doyle?"

"What am I supposed to be looking for?"

"Look at the employees at his home and any partners in business that have been with him for a long time. Run background checks on all of them."

"I'll go as fast as my fingers can fly."

"Doyle's at the center of this. If we find him, we find Prentiss."

They decided to eat lunch together and kept trying to theorize what could have happened, but were coming up empty. They tried looking at Doyle, but with only superficial information on him they didn't make much headway. Their conversation drifted into gossip.

"Why do you think she fell for him?" Asked Derek.

"She said it herself when we were interrogating Crazy Jane in Washington in '06: "you don't choose who you fall in love with."" Said JJ.

"She was undercover. Sometimes it happens." Said Rossi.

"The interesting thing about that is that she compartmentalizes everything really well. She's able to separate her emotions from her work." Spencer added.

"Maybe that's where the ability stemmed from." Hotch murmured. Morgan nodded slightly.

"Makes sense. She got hurt when her emotions took over in her work and now she has to draw the line."

"Ian Doyle made her who she is." Murmured Reid, shocked. It was a sobering thought.

There was a slight lull in the conversation and for a few moments everything was quiet.

"Guys, I've got something." Said Garcia. Every face in the room turned to her. "I ran a background check on one of Doyle's employees. Her name is Louise Thatcher and she lives at one of Doyle's villas in Tuscany and she's worked for him for twelve years."

"In what capacity?"

"As a nanny to a boy named Declan."

"Twelve years... That was before Emily ever went undercover."

"And I get bonus points because She was Declan's legal guardian up until a few months ago when he was officially adopted by Lauren Doyle."

All of them jumped up from their seats and went home to pack their bags. Garcia bought them all tickets on a commercial flight to Italy. For almost nine hours they sat in the overcrowded economy seating and were reminded of how lucky they were to have the jet. They got there around eleven thirty in the morning. They checked into a hotel (not without some difficulty) and left their bags on their beds.

It was an hour and a half long drive to Tuscany. There were rolling hills of green everywhere they looked. It was a warm spring afternoon, and the sun was shining brightly down on all of them. When they found the private Villa, they parked their car at the bottom of the hill. They walked up the long and winding driveway and were daunted by the sheer size of the manor. The large wooden doors were at least seven feet high, with large brass knockers on it. Hotch knocked at the door and they waited in an intense silence. It was Louise who answered.

"Yes?"

"Louise Thatcher?"

"That's me."

"We're here to see Mrs. Doyle."

She blinked. "Who are you?"

"We're friends who have traveled from Virginia to see her."

She allowed them inside into the foyer.

"One moment." She said, going up the stairs to where Lauren was laying in bed.

"Lauren, you have visitors."

Surprised but curious, she carefully got up and walked down the stairs- only to stop at the sight of her old team.


	9. Fear

Lauren was beyond words as she stared at her friends. Her hand flew to her stomach, as if to protect her baby from her old life. There was a tense silence that coated the room.

"What are you doing here?" The alien words came tumbling out of her mouth as she shattered the quiet around them. She almost said "how did you find me?", but she knew that if anyone could find her, it would be them. Penelope stepped forward and hugged her.

"We missed you." She said, earnestly. Lauren smiled.

"I missed you too."

They all went and hugged her one by one.

Louise came up to her, smiling.

"Is there anything I can do for you, Mrs. Doyle?"

"No thank you Louise."

She turned to the team. "May I get you anything?"

Each of them politely declined, and she went back upstairs to check on Declan while Ian worked in his home office.

They all sat down on the couch.

"When are you due?" Asked JJ.

"Two months." She answered, although her baby bump was so big she looked like she would be giving birth any day.

"What are you having?" Asked Hotch.

"It's a boy." She said, smiling a little brighter.

"Are you nervous?" Penelope questioned.

"Is there anybody who isn't nervous their first time around?" It was a good point. "What have you all been up to?" She asked, purposely changing the subject. They each summed up the past eight months in a few sentences while she listened, interested. After a few minutes she excused herself to go and use the bathroom.

When she sat down, however, she froze in shock as she saw blood stains in her underwear. For a second she couldn't say anything. Then, everything stopped and went into motion all at once.

"IAN!" She shrieked at the top of her lungs. The sudden noise made the entire team jump. Ian got up so fast that he knocked over his chair and ran down the stairs in a blur. He busted the bathroom door open and rushed to his wife, who was screaming as abdominal pain rocked her body. He followed her gaze and was just as alarmed at what he saw. He whipped out his cell phone and dialed 118. He spoke in Italian as quickly as his lips would move as he helped his wife up and started moving her toward the couch. He asked her several questions for the doctors on the other line, but all she knew was the pain and dizziness that was quickly overtaking her. She swayed precariously as her team watched her, alarmed. She lost her balance and fell backward into her husband's waiting arms. He had his cell phone between his ear and shoulder as he picked his wife up from the ground and laid her out on the couch. He flipped the phone shut and knelt beside her.

"The ambulance is on it's way." He told her. She blindly reached out for his hand and he took it, squeezing tightly. The entire team noticed the sparkle of the five carat diamond ring on her finger (which Ian had given her some months after they'd married in addition to the Gimmel rings). In an act totally unlike her, the team watched as tears leaked from her eyes and down her temples.

"Ian?"

"Yes, love?"

"I'm scared."

He gave her hand another squeeze, attempting to be comforting. "No baby. I'm here. Don't be scared."

She looked at him, and he wiped her tears away. "He's going to be okay, right?" Her voice was abnormally high and squeaky.

"I hope so." He whispered.

The time it took for the ambulance to arrive seemed to take forever. When it did arrive, they brought in a stretcher and loaded her onto it.

"come ti chiami?" They asked her, carrying her into the ambulance.

"Il mio nome è Lauren." She said as Ian leapt inside to sit with her. He held her hand the entire way to the hospital and ran next to her as she was wheeled into the emergency room. The team had followed her in their vehicles. Ian politely asked if they could have a doctor who spoke English, and got lucky that the doctor working with his wife was bilingual as she was rushed to the maternity ward.

"She's having the baby now." He told them.

"WHAT?!" Lauren shrieked as another contraction hit. "B-But I'm not due for another two months!"

"The baby is coming now."

Another contraction threatened to tear her apart from the inside out, and she squeezed her husband's hand so forcefully she was afraid of breaking it. But the pain overrode any residual guilt over that and she gasped for air. She suddenly felt a strange gushing feeling and looked to her Doctor for an explanation.

"Your water just broke."

The BAU asked for Lauren Doyle's room and were directed to the Maternity ward. They could hear her struggling not to scream as the contractions came in waves. They each came in one at a time to see how she was doing. As the hours wore on and the contractions grew stronger, the reprieve from them became shorter and shorter. The shorter the time between them, the shorter Lauren's temper became. By hour sixteen, the only one who would put up with her was Ian. Even the nurse came and went within minutes.

Finally, the time came for her to push.

The pain was inhuman, and almost intolerable. She'd been shot and tortured before and that was bad, but this... This was hell on earth. It seemed like it would never end. But, with one final push, her torment ended, and a cry pierced her ears. Her vision was blurred, but she reached up for him.

"Please, can I hold him?" She asked. The nurses exchanged worried glances, but nodded.

"Just for a minute."

A little blue bundle was placed in her arms, and suddenly everything in her world stopped.

His little eyes were closed, but he had the most perfect little lips and button nose that Lauren had ever seen. The love that burst open inside of her was indescribable.

"Anthony... So beautiful..." Ian looked at him with such pride and kissed his wife's forehead.

All too quickly he was out of her arms and being taken to the NICU.

Lauren, knowing there was nothing else she could do for him at that point, fell into an exhausted sleep.


	10. Home

Lauren woke up some hours later and scanned the room around her. Ian had dozed off in the chair beside her. She guessed that the rest of the BAU were sitting outside of her door, and was proven correct when they came into her room.

"How do you feel?" Asked JJ.

"Better than I was before now that I finally got some rest."

She nodded. "I remember going through labor with Henry. I didn't feel remotely close to normal until after I slept."

"I can see why." She murmured, sitting up.

"Have you decided what to name the baby?" Asked Garcia.

She nodded, and couldn't help but smile as she thought of his precious little face.

"His name is Anthony Braden."

"That's beautiful." They chorused.

Ian finally stirred from his sleep. Lauren put her hand on his leg, and he looked into her eyes with a smile.

"Well look who's awake." He said with a smile.

"Hey. What time is it?" She asked, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. He glanced at his watch.

"Four O'clock."

"In the afternoon?" He looked again and nodded. "How the hell did I sleep for fourteen hours straight?"

"You were exhausted, love. It happens."

"Not to me it doesn't."

He gave her an exasperated look that said "let it go".

"Have you heard anything from the doctors?" She asked.

"He's in the NICU now. They'll tell us more as it goes."

She sighed. "So no, you haven't heard anything."

"No. But it could always be worse."

"Any time anybody says that it always does. We really don't need that right now." Ian, to his credit, was smart enough to shut up before saying anything else that might upset his wife. She was quick to change the subject. "Did they bring in the birth certificate for us to fill out?"

He nodded and handed it to her.

As she filled it out she couldn't stop thinking about her baby. How was he? Was anything wrong with him? But the question that haunted her the most was the one she was most afraid to answer: would he make it? She dropped her pen when she finished and reached for her husband's hand.

"He's going to be okay, right?" She asked.

"Statistically babies born at 30 weeks have a ninety five percent chance of living, so the odds are in his favor." Said Spencer.

Lauren smiled. "Thanks."

He nodded.

For a long stretch of time they all talked together in perfect harmony, although Lauren couldn't stop herself from glancing over at the doors, trying to will the doctor to come inside and give them good news. For now, though, she was comfortably cocooned in the bosom of her friends and (almost all of her) family. The remaining gap between them was filled when she could hear someone's footsteps running down the hallway.

When she looked over, there stood Declan, with Louise bringing up the rear.

She opened her arms and he happily came into them.

"Are you okay, Mom?" He asked. She couldn't help but smile at him.

"I'm fine, honey." She promised as she gave Louise a tight hug.

"Where's the newest member of the family?" She asked, smiling. She tried to stop her grin from faltering.

"He's in the NICU."

The saddened look on her friend's face almost made her cry.

Almost.

"I'm sure he's going to be fine." She said, reassuringly. She smiled.

"I really hope you're right."

Louise offered to take Declan to see his new brother and gave Lauren a few minutes to gather her thoughts. The team took her silence as a cue to leave, and she gave them a grateful smile because they always understood what she needed. She turned to Ian, her eyes filled with fright.

"What if he dies?" It was her worst fear. He took both her hands and clasped them in his own.

"Don't think like that. He's going to be okay."

"But what if-" Ian put a finger to her lips to stop her.

"When you do that you're only hurting yourself. Have a little faith."

She flashed back to her abortion and return to church and shuttered involuntarily. He looked at her, concerned.

"Faith isn't exactly my strong point." She murmured.

"Well it's about to get a good work out." He said, sadly.

"That's an understatement." Her cynical tone surprised him.

For a long time they sat there together, hoping and praying that their baby would be okay. Lauren didn't know what else to do. This was her baby. The first child she had ever loved that had grown inside of her. If he was gone, she didn't know what she'd do. When a doctor finally arrived, she felt her throat constrict. She wanted to speak, but no sound would come out.

"Mr. And Mrs. Doyle?" He asked with a thick accent. They nodded.

"He'll have to stay in the NICU for a few days, but you'll be able to take him home. He should be fine."

The second he said those words, Lauren felt such tremendous relief that she nearly fell over. Ian kept her steady and smiled.

"Thank you, doctor."

The doctor nodded. "Anytime."

Five days later, both Lauren and Anthony were discharged from the hospital. As Ian drove them home, She couldn't help but think about the dramatic turn that her life had taken. She had fallen in love with a criminal, and it had led to her having one of the greatest joys of her life. She had her friends, she had her love, and most importantly, she had her family. As they drove up the driveway, Lauren smiled at the sight of her home. The sun was just beginning to set on the horizon, giving the hills a majestic glow about them. As she got out of the car and got her son out of the car seat, she took her husband's hand as they officially started on one of the greatest journeys of their lifetimes: parenthood. Louise opened the front doors for them, and they both grinned.

It was good to be home.

 **Author's Note: That's all for now, but keep your eyes peeled for a possible sequel in the future! Thanks for reading!**


End file.
